Boo, my love, the past weeks have been really hard. You came through your ten days of radiation treatments like a champ. You greeted the staff at 5:30 every morning with a smile. You won the heart of the receptionist who asked if she, too, could call you Boo. She knew it was your special name, and she wanted you to feel right at home. I gave her permission, gladly. We can always use more cheerleaders for Team Boo.
I had hoped when radiation ended you would bounce back. But your body is still healing. Your smile is beautiful, but your body is battle tired. You eat and drink very little. I thank God every day for the G tube that lets your daddy and me get fluids, calories, and medicines into you. I can tell by your face that this probably does not feel too good, but, baby, we have to keep you alive. I know you are not comfortable, but you can’t tell me where you have pain. It hurts my mama heart to see you in such discomfort. I was always taught to love, rather than to hate; but baby, I hate this cancer. It is an evil force that I wish I could rid you of. I want to banish it forever. Your doctors want to banish is forever. They are working their hardest to bring you to health. Stay with us, baby. Stay with us a little bit longer. There are still good things to be had.
In early August we are going to Duluth. You love large bodies of water, and you can dip your toes in those baptismal waters of the North. You can go for rides on trains and boats. If you want to spend all day in the jacuzzi, that is fine, too. This trip is just for you. You earned it and it was given to you anonymously, but with great love, from someone else who wants you to be happy. I want this to be a time or respite and renewal.
Through this whole journey, your Auntie Pidge has been our guiding light. She is a Healing Touch practitioner. She prays for you daily and sends you healing energy. When you were in the hospital, we were blessed to have Healing Touch nurses come to your bedside and work with you. You responded so well to their ministrations. I believe that they helped you get through all those rounds of chemo. Yesterday, Pidge suggested to me that we seek out an HT practitioner in St. Paul. She will continue to send you her love and prayers but feels you would do better with someone who can actually lay hands on you. Two years ago, I would have laughed at such an idea. Now, I am a believer. I watched those HT nurses take your pain away. They brought back your smile. They also showed me how to help you. I will help you the best that I can, as I always do. But, right now, I want someone else to lead and guide me to help you to feel the best that you can in your body. I have reached out of an HT healer in St. Paul. I hope to hear from her soon.
Boo Bear, I love you more than life itself. I would do anything to take away your pain. Stay with us a little bit longer. Let’s go to Duluth. Let’s do some music therapy. Let’s try HT. Boo, you have the most beautiful smile. Your wonder and amazement about the world around never grow old. From your biggest fan, Love, Mom.
Harriet's Hedgehogs and Autism Advocacy 