Banshees and Poltergeists

Mr. Boo has some strange talents.  At night, he turns into a banshee.  Well, let me clarify, at night he makes banshee like noises.  I have never actually heard a banshee but the noises that he makes in the middle of the night are exactly what I imagine that a banshee would sound like.  Mr. Boo is also part Bower Bird.  In case you do not know, these birds like to steal bright shiny things for their nests.  Mr. Boo is a sucker for bright, shiny things, particularly keys.  Even more particularly, my car keys.  For years I drove an old clunker that I eventually ran into the ground after 19 faithful years.  Mr. Boo never showed any interest in that car, except that it took him places and made horrific noises when I tried to start it in cold weather.  Eventually, the car went to the Rainbow Bridge and I brought home the first new car I had ever owned, a 2017 Subaru Forester.  Mr. Boo fell madly in love with it.  At any given opportunity he would sneak out into the garage and sit in it, hoping it would take him someplace new and exciting.  I began locking my car to keep him from sneaking into it and bringing snacks.  Mr. Boo put two and two together and started sneaking off to the garage with my car keys in hand.  He could not exactly figure out how to open the car, but he knew darn well that the keys and the car went together.

Yesterday morning I was supposed to drive to a friend’s house, pick her up and then we were going to go on a run around the local lakes.  At 6:55 a.m. I was barely on time and just about to charge out the door when I realized that I could not find my keys.  I looked high and low.  I was positive I had left them on the key hook in the kitchen.  No luck.  I gave up, texted my friend and asked her to drive instead.  As I was waiting for her I happened to glance up at the top cabinet above the sink. This is the cabinet where we keep all of Boo’s treats and the liquor.  This cabinet locks, for obvious reasons.  There were my keys, hanging in the lock!  I had no recollection of putting them there but chalked it up to old age on my part and went on with my day and my run.

This morning was the first day of a new job for Robert.  We were all slightly nervous and excited.  Mr. Boo must have been concerned that daddy would oversleep so he woke the entire household up at 5:00 a.m. with some ear piercing banshee noises.  Soon, everyone was up and Boo was happy.  Usually, I go to work first and Robert launches the kids out the door.  This morning, he left first for his new job and the launching was left up to me.  Mouse was easy to get organized and out the door for her bus.  Boo was another matter.  He preferred to race the length of the house, emitting hoots and banshee screams as I tried to stuff he feet into socks.  Once the socks were accomplished I started searching for his shoes.  I looked high and I looked low.  No luck. The shoes were missing.  I finally settled for a slightly smaller pair, stuffed his feet in the shoes and his body into the waiting bus.  Whew!

Next, I had to launch myself.  And, once again, I could not find my keys.  They were not in the hook, they were not in the liquor cabinet, they were not in my bag.  I started sorting through clothes that were left on the couch and realized that something was in my coat pocket.  This was a coat I had not worn in several days and I do not use its pockets.  Curious, I unzipped the pocket and found my keys.  Whew!  I grabbed my keys and ran out the door to work.

So, I know that Mr. Boo is part banshee and part Bower Bird.  But, more and more my belongings have been coming and going from the house and turning up in the most unexpected places.  I am beginning to think that Mr. Boo has hired a partner in crime and I think it is a poltergeist.  Funny things happen when one has teens in the house.  Doors slam on their own.  Floorboards creak.  Food is never in the refrigerator even if one has just been to the grocery store.  Keys, shoes, socks and other miscellaneous disappear and reappear, all to the background noise of one very determined banshee.  I know that Mr. Boo is a man of many talents, but can he really be behind all of this mayhem?  Is he getting any extra help on the side?  Can one order a poltergeist on Amazon?  Mouse is fully behind the idea of a poltergeist and has named him Steve.  I really wish Steve would find another house to haunt.  At present I have two teens, two hedgehogs, and depending on the day, anywhere between two and four dogs, and a very patient husband.  I can do without Steve the poltergeist.  If anyone would like to borrow a poltergeist, please send me a message and I will happily help you out.  In the mean time, I am going to put my Banshee/Bower Bird in the tub and then in bed.  I am hoping that Banshees eventually get tired and go sleep and that Steve can find another house to haunt.

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