Ravi Speaks

Dear Ravi,

I heard you loud and clear this morning. I went to the 10:30 service because I wanted music more than I wanted quiet meditation. I got that and more. There were two very animated toddlers at the service. I love the pitter patter of little feet during Joy’s sermon and squeals of joy from toddler lips. These sounds make the church feel so much more alive!

After the service, I had half an hour before our Sunday School orientation and meeting. I normally skip coffee hour because I don’t know that many people at the 10:30 service, and by nature, I am very shy. So, I slipped down to the chapel/columbarium to visit you. I checked in with you, cried a little bit, and was trying to determine what to do next. Suddenly, and clearly, I heard your voice in my mind. You said, “Mom, you need to hang out with the living, not among the dead.” I whipped around to see where this voice had come from, but you were gone as suddenly as you had come in. So, I blew you a kiss and headed upstairs. I got some coffee and then did see a few familiar faces. I happily chatted with people until it was time to go to the basement for our meeting.

The meeting was a success. There are 6 of us who want to be involved, plus Elizabeth. I agreed to help out every Sunday, except for marathon Sunday, when I have no way to get to the church. Also, this will set a rhythm for my week. I would much rather be with the youth of our church every Sunday, rather than once or twice a month. I have also been asked to be on the Gather steering committee. This group will design and run our Autism/sensory friendly Sundays once a month. I have yet to learn what my role in the committee will be, but I am very excited both the be a Sunday School teacher and on the Gather board. Sometime in the fall, I am also giving a talk about Autism and Autism advocacy at the adult forum.

Tuesday is your dad and my 24th wedding anniversary. Because you came a bit earlier than expected, we have never celebrated an anniversary without you. I don’t yet know what we are going to do, but you will be part of this day, just like you always have been. We will stop by the church to talk to you and let you know that you are still a beloved child of God and of our family.

This will be a busy week. I return to therapy on Monday after Kathy was out on medical leave for three weeks. I am helping a friend with some legal issues. On Wednesday I begin my work as a direct support provider. I am only working 2 shifts a week, for 9 hours each. This will hopefully make me feel useful, gain me some income, but also leave much time for other pursuits, such a writing advocacy, and running. I am running again, and it feels good, but I am very slow. Running provides a release for me and also helps me to feel close to you. So, thank you for reminding me of the outside world. I have a lot of work to do among the living, even while I honor the dead. How I wish that you were not part of the non-living world. I miss you, tons. This fall, the normally quiet basement of the church will fill up with the good noise of children. It may sound like happy chaos, but that is just what you loved. We are setting up the classroom to be sensory and autism friendly. I think you will approve. You are my first thought when I awake in the morning and my last thought as I fall asleep at night. Love you to the moon and back. Mom.