Tag: travel

Arizona!

Dear Ravi,

Your daddy and I took a week long trip to Arizona to escape the cold, snow, and political upheaval in the Twin Cities. In short, it was wonderful. Pam and Jay hosted us at lovely house in the foothills that they had access to. There was a lemon tree in the front yard and saguaro cactus everywhere. It has been a long time since I have seen such beautiful sunsets, they cast such lovely colors on the mountains. The high temperatures were in the mid 70’s, perfect for sitting on the patio drinking coffee, or going for hikes up the canyon.

We took several hikes up a nearby canyon and my wish came true. I got to see a road runner. They are incredibly fast and very well camouflaged. Unlike the cartoon, they do not say beep beep, but they are very entertaining. We also saw a mama javelina and 2 babies, and another huge javelina standing on the side of the road, near the house. We did not get close to them at all as they are notoriously bad tempered. I have to admit, even the babies are rather ugly.

We had so many marvelous adventures. One day, daddy and I went to the Pima Air Museum. There is so much history there, and so many different types of planes. We saw the Air Force One that Kennedy flew on. This same plane also brought back the hostages from Iran and the POWs from the Iraq War. It was an honor just to be near it. There is another part of the museum devoted to World War II. It is run by veterans. Sadly, we only had a half an hour there before it closed for the day. We just missed seeing a pilot from World War II. He is 102 years old and comes to the museum every Thursday. A different World War II pilot is there on Mondays. I want to return as soon as possible. As you know, there are very few veterans from this war left alive.

On Saturday night we went to the Mount Lemmon Observatory. Ravi, it took my breath away. The observatory is at 9,161 feet in elevation. We got to see a marvelous sunset, had dinner, then went to the observatory. We saw Saturn, Jupiter, Sirius, the nebula of Orion, and the moon. Everything was so clear, you could clearly see the rings around Saturn. There were also a number of graduate astronomy students there to answer questions. They were fascinating to listen to. Ravi, I knew your daddy was an astronomy nerd, but I had no idea that it ran so deep. The students and their leader complimented him on his questions and at the end of the night told him that if he were ever looking for a job, he should give them a call! I am very proud of him.

Today, Sunday, was also a really good day. We met Tom and Karen at the glider port and went for rides. I have not been in a glider since at least 2001, and it was a blast. There was no lift and plenty of sink, so the ride only lasted about 20 minutes, but I savored every second of it. Daddy also went up for a ride and thoroughly enjoyed himself. He won’t get to glide again until at least April, when the field here dries out, but it was a marvelous way to spend the first day of February.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. We hung out at the airfield as long as we could, then had to head to the Tucson airport. We hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so in your honor we stopped by a Taco Bell on our way. I want to note that we did eat lots of great authentic Mexican food while we were there, but this little side trip was done just for you.

The dogs and cat were very happy upon our return. It is not quite as cold as it was when we left and there is a fresh coat of snow. Though I loved all of our trip to the Southwest, it feels good to be home. We have work to do here, to defend our state and to fight for democracy. I have the final clean edit of your book and am busy looking for an agent. I plan to return to work part time in March. Daddy is taking another welding class this month, too. I love you and miss you, but I felt your presence in the mountains and the desert. Love you to the moon and back. Mom.

A Quick Note to Ravi

Dear Ravi,

Yesterday was a day that would make you proud to be a Minnesotan. As you probably know, there was going to be a white supremist rally in the Cedar Riverside neighborhood, blocks from Masonic Children’s Hospital. I am very familiar with that neighborhood. I often took runs and walks through there while Daddy was keeping you company. As you also know, this is a Somali neighborhood and a place of peace. Anyway, some stupid white men with more testosterone than sense and drunk on power decided they would march through the neighborhood and burn the Qur’an on the steps of city hall. To our everlasting delight, the march crashed and fizzled. First of all, the weather was in our favor. It was bone chilling, sub zero temperatures, typical of Minnesota in January. Less than a dozen supremists turned out. A few stepped out of their hotel, got slapped in the face by the bitter cold, saw the hordes of peaceful protesters and retreated back into the hotel. This left one white dude with a megaphone, all by himself. The crowd mocked him and jeered at him. They threw snowballs and water balloons. They literally chased him down the street. He was trying to get back to his hotel. Out of nowhere came a young African American man. He took his enemy by the arm and directed him to safety, while getting pelted by snowballs and water balloons that were aimed at his foe. This young brother guided his enemy to safety. Ravi, he did not have to do this. The person he helped believed that he should “go back where he came from”. Sweetheart, this is true agape, selfless love.

Things are very uncertain and uncomfortable here right now, and it is stretching across the country. I heard today that the orange maggot is sending ICE to Disney in Florida. This is a chance for the Mouse to stand up and roar. If they want to continue being the most magical place on earth, then they need to fight back. If they don’t, no one will want to go there. One of Florida’s premier vacation destinations will be vacant. We never took you to Disney Land or Disney World. Honestly, I have never been there either. You and Mercury never showed the slightest interest in anything Disney related, so for your Zak’s wish trip, we went north to Duluth. Not seeking crowds, but solitude and a beautiful Great Lake that stretches farther than the eye can see. We rode around on a modified bike, we walked on the beach, we ate lots of great food, and we enjoyed each other’s company. That was one of the best weeks of my life. I wish that serenity for the world today. Our country does not need Greenland. We do not need mall cops heady with power in our streets. We are better than this.

As I write, I hear helicopters overhead. Like during the George Floyd riots, they have become a steady backdrop of noise. Things are peaceful for a while, then are disrupted by honking horns, whistles, and sirens. Peace is very fragile. I am proud to be a Minnesotan. I am proud that you were born, lived, and died in this beautiful state. It is up to us to stand on the right side of justice. Peace to you my son, I love you forever. Mom.

From a Boulder to a Crater

Good afternoon, friends, and happy Pride! We are bumping along over here at #TeamRavi. We miss him deeply. Early on in our grief journey a friend of Robert’s gave him the analogy that deep grief is like a boulder that lands in the middle of one’s living room. Everyone knows that it is there and tries to tiptoe around it. Sometimes though, one is short of patience, or calories, or endurance and runs right into it. Bam! And it hurts. Robert suggested this analogy to his therapist last week. Instead of a boulder, she suggested a crater. There is this massive hole that appeared in the middle of the living room. On good days, one can see the hole and navigate around it. On not so good days, one walks straight into it and rapidly descends into a grief spiral. This analogy suits us better. There are some days that we can tiptoe around the crater. Robert will go soaring or juggling. I will run my dogs or go for a walk with friends. I distract myself with writing and advocacy work. Other days, when I can barely pry myself out of bed, I walk out of our bedroom and descend into the abyss. Sometimes, I don’t come out for many days. I don’t reach out to friends, I stop eating, I just plain old don’t see the point of doing anything anymore. This is the crater in the living room. Fortunately, Robert and I do not usually fall into the crater at the same time. Also, we are blessed with a wonderful group of friends and our church.

Today, my writing prompt was “Who would you like to spend the most time with?” The answer is obvious. I want to spend time with my offspring. I want to talk to them, hug them, laugh with them. But one is gone to heaven and the other has struck out on their own. This is a more unambiguous grief. Mercury is still alive, I hope, but we have not seen her in over 2 years. They too, are deeply missed.

Several nights ago, I was at a sign making gathering at St. Clement’s. We were making signs for peace, for pride, for protests, or anything we felt strongly about. There was a group of young girls there who brought me sheer joy just through their energy. They were engaged in sign making, pausing for snacks and random dance offs, and laughing hysterically, just enjoying being with their friends in a safe place. No adult was telling them to sit down, be quiet, to not be so much, to not call attention to them themselves. There was not an iPhone or iPad in sight. It was so refreshing to be around that young energy. It gave me a ray of hope for the upcoming generation of young women. I had forgotten how much I loved being surrounded by pre-teens and their utter exuberance in life. I made my signs and went home smiling.

Next weekend I am marching in the No Kings protest on Saturday, and volunteering at our church booth at Pride on Sunday. These are the things that get me out of bed in the morning when I really don’t want to emerge from my safe cocoon of blankets. Once I get out of the house, I am usually safe from the crater.

Ravi has a birthday on June 18. Mercury has a birthday on June 25. I really do not know how I am going to navigate these two days, but I will definitely be navigating them with Robert, outside of the house. For Ravi, we will go visit him in the chapel/columbarium. Then we might go for a long walk, or to the zoo or the conservatory. On the 25th, I will do what I do every day, which is to release my love for Mercury into the universe and hope that it somehow finds her. I remind myself that I am still a mom. I gave birth to two amazing children. They may not be in my arms, but they are never away from my heart.

Until the very end, Ravi was a doer. He was not passive. We will not be passive, either. I encourage you to involve yourselves with something greater than you. Go to a rally. Hug your kids. Help a random stranger. Be a good human. Peace, Harriet.

Look who checked in!

For months I have waited and longed for Ravi to come to me in a dream. I have had very vivid dreams where he is missing, and I am desperately trying to find him. I have brief moments of grace, early in the morning, before I open my eyes, when I think that he and his sibling are still under my roof. But, until early this morning, Ravi has never shown up in a dream.

The setting of this dream was a little pub in County Kerry, Ireland. I was there with Robert, Peter, and his girlfriend, Amber. Ravi was a bar keeper, passing out brimming pints of Guinness. For some reason, there were other young children and babies at this pub. Robert and I were giving them many toddler and baby toys that Ravi had outgrown. The mood was very upbeat and happy. Ravi was wearing his favorite Irish hat that Peter had brought him many years ago and was his favorite accessory. In the interim since we had last seen him, he had grown a magnificent moustache, of which he was very proud. I woke up smiling.

A bit later I checked my phone for messages. Two friends in two very different locations had sent me pictures of a red male cardinal to show me that Ravi was showing up in their backyards to say hi. As I sat in my favorite reading chair, drinking coffee, I had the very strong feeling that Ravi was right in the next room, just out of the corner of my eye. A few hours later Alissa and Alan came over to visit and hang out. Alissa told me when she had stopped by the other night, Ravi was definitely in the back of her car, eager to go for a ride, or any good adventure. Towards the end of the visit with Alissa and Alan, I gave her Ravi’s yellow Nik’s Wish hat. Alissa had never seen him in that hat, as he got it after she had moved to Hawaii. I told her that Ravi wanted to go with her and see the ocean and play on the beach. Tears welled up in her eyes and she took the hat eagerly and tenderly.

These are just a few of the signs my friends and I have gotten today that Ravi is well and on the move. You might see him as a male cardinal, a beautiful monarch butterfly, or a bar tender. When you see him, raise a pint or a hand, tell him hello, and that mama bear is very proud of him. In the meantime, be a good human. Peace, Harriet.