Tag: writing

Look who checked in!

For months I have waited and longed for Ravi to come to me in a dream. I have had very vivid dreams where he is missing, and I am desperately trying to find him. I have brief moments of grace, early in the morning, before I open my eyes, when I think that he and his sibling are still under my roof. But, until early this morning, Ravi has never shown up in a dream.

The setting of this dream was a little pub in County Kerry, Ireland. I was there with Robert, Peter, and his girlfriend, Amber. Ravi was a bar keeper, passing out brimming pints of Guinness. For some reason, there were other young children and babies at this pub. Robert and I were giving them many toddler and baby toys that Ravi had outgrown. The mood was very upbeat and happy. Ravi was wearing his favorite Irish hat that Peter had brought him many years ago and was his favorite accessory. In the interim since we had last seen him, he had grown a magnificent moustache, of which he was very proud. I woke up smiling.

A bit later I checked my phone for messages. Two friends in two very different locations had sent me pictures of a red male cardinal to show me that Ravi was showing up in their backyards to say hi. As I sat in my favorite reading chair, drinking coffee, I had the very strong feeling that Ravi was right in the next room, just out of the corner of my eye. A few hours later Alissa and Alan came over to visit and hang out. Alissa told me when she had stopped by the other night, Ravi was definitely in the back of her car, eager to go for a ride, or any good adventure. Towards the end of the visit with Alissa and Alan, I gave her Ravi’s yellow Nik’s Wish hat. Alissa had never seen him in that hat, as he got it after she had moved to Hawaii. I told her that Ravi wanted to go with her and see the ocean and play on the beach. Tears welled up in her eyes and she took the hat eagerly and tenderly.

These are just a few of the signs my friends and I have gotten today that Ravi is well and on the move. You might see him as a male cardinal, a beautiful monarch butterfly, or a bar tender. When you see him, raise a pint or a hand, tell him hello, and that mama bear is very proud of him. In the meantime, be a good human. Peace, Harriet.

When Boo Bear came back as a butterfly

Last weekend was magical. When Ravi was 4 and Mercury was 2 we had the most amazing person who lived with us for a year. Her name was Shirley and she had immigrated from China to get her Masters and PhD at the University of Minnesota. Her focus was autism and she wanted to live with an American family with an autistic child. She lived with us from 2006-2007 and was a huge part of Ravi’s life. A few weeks ago she found a $100 round trip ticket from Atlanta, near where she currently lives, to Minnesota. We both decided this was a sign that she needed to visit and she booked the ticket immediately.

Shirley was in town only 26 hours, but we made the most of them. We laughed, talked, cried, and shared our favorite memories of Boo. She was the first person I allowed in his bedroom, and I welcomed her to take anything of his that spoke to her. Early Sunday morning she was sitting in my reading chair, meditating and praying. Two things happened at once. She looked at the window, into a cold Minnesota morning and saw a big, beautiful butterfly. Her gaze then turned to a picture of Ravi on the refrigerator. She said that she heard his voice in her mind saying, “Shirley, I am happy”. A few hours later we went to church and were amused to find that we were both wearing Boo Bear socks. After the service we went down to the chapel to visit Ravi. We cried, we held each other, we mourned. It was very hard, but very cathartic. After, we picked up donuts and coffee and returned home to Robert.

Too soon, the visit had to end. We drove her to the airport and and , among tears and laughter, put her on her plane, heading home. As we were driving home, two things happened at once. I got a text from Peter saying that Ravi had been in his dream, and it was great to see him. Just then, a truck with the license plate “Boo” pulled in front of us. This had to be more than mere coincidence. An hour later I got an excited text from Alissa. She had been coaching her Special Olympic swim team in Hawaii. The entire time, a dragon fly was hovering over the pool. A dragon fly is a sign that the soul of her brother Jonathan is nearby. When she returned home, a beautiful orange monarch butterfly was waiting for her. She did not get a picture, but immediately alerted me.

All of the signs happened within a 5-hour period. I do not believe in coincidence, but I do believe in God, and I do believe in a life beyond the grave. Ravi appeared to two people as a butterfly, to Peter in his dream, and to Robert and me as a license plate. There is no doubt in my mind that my boy is footloose and fancy free in the world. He got to visit all of his favorite people in one day. We all could truly sense his presence

One final note. Ravi’s name has multiple meanings. In Russian, Ravi means Bear. In Sanskrit, it means sun. In French, is means to bring delight. Ravi is all of these things and more. Though we grieve him and miss him dearly, I know that he has shed his mortal, cancer ridden body and is flying free, immune to to the bonds of time and space. I am happy to share him with the world. I have submitted my final touches of my Not Your Ordinary Autism Book to my editor and showcased in a way, I hope, that I hope will draw in a publisher. I will keep you posted. In the interim, be good people and be on the lookout for signs and miracles. Peace, Harriet, Ravi’s mom.