Nothing makes sense

Dear Ravi,

I deeply believe that things make more sense in heaven than they do on earth. Honestly, earth is more than a bit nuts right now. Washington is on fire and our country is being laughed at by the rest of the world. I am certain that you know all of this, so I will not elaborate.

Your trees are blooming and the daffodils are very proud of themselves. Everything is green and the earth smells good. Taking daily dog walks is the only way to ground myself right now. I was handed a disappointment yesterday. I was scheduled for a steroid injection into my C spine this morning. Late yesterday I found out that my new health plan had not given prior authorization, so the procedure was canceled. The clinic apologized and said they would schedule me as soon as possible as soon as MA approved it. In the meantime, I am on hold, metaphorically and physically. I am hoping that this injection helps. You never complained about your pain, and I will not complain about mine, but a little medical help would be appreciated.

In a few weeks I will be helping to represent the Gather program of St. Clement’s at AUSM’s Steps of Hope. We will be talking to interested parents about our autism and sensory friendly services. It is also a good chance to see what services are currently available in the Twin Cities. In the past I have found such events focused mostly on boys with autism and early intervention. As you know, services tend to vanish after one ages out of the system at age 18 or 21. Though I believe that early intervention is crucial, I wish there were a greater focus on autistic individuals with higher support needs and females. In your name, I will continue to reach out and advocate.

Please pray for your uncle Rob and your Aunt Cindy. They need a miracle. We all are unanimous that cancer really stinks! You, Rob, and countless others all know this. I never wanted to wave a magic wand to take away your autism. I tried to make your world a better place, accepting that autism is just as much a part of you as it is of me. BUT! If I could have that magic wand for a just a moment, I would banish cancer forever.

Not everything is grim. Spring is here. I have brunch and walks planned with friends. I continue to advocate for inclusive places for individuals with autism. I continue to tell your story. You are always on my mind and in my heart. Love you forever. Mom.