Cardinals sing for me

Dear Ravi,

Yesterday was a lovely yet bittersweet day at church. There was beautiful music and a light breeze wafting through the open windows. There were only women serving at the altar. The organ swelled and billowed amazing music. In the midst of this beauty, I realized once again that I can no longer sing. I have not sung since you left us. I have not played the piano since you slipped away. My musical muse is gone. I am grateful that my writing muse has stayed the course, but I can no longer sing or practice piano. Both have been a huge part of my life since I was a little kid. Suddenly I am thinking of the song The Day the Music Died. Ravi, my musical muse died with you. When I am joined with you again, I will sing. Until then, I listen to and enjoy the choir and the organ. Daddy still plays the piano occasionally, and I enjoy listening to him. I am afraid if I touch the keyboard I will crack into one thousand little pieces.

After church I slipped down to see you. The chapel was cool and inviting. I spent a long time with my hand on your niche, talking to you and praying for you. My love, I miss you.

The highlight of the weekend was a visit from Karen, Hannah’s mom. We spent a wonderful day together. She gifted the dogs with toys and us with a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that she said reminded her of you. The puzzle is a clothes line full of goofy socks, surrounded by birds and flowers. We are absolutely charmed. Daddy and I got it out last night and got most of the edge pieces sorted out. We figure it will take about a week to finish, and it is time very well spent as it reminds us of you. The major battle is keeping Nikki off the table and not letting him bat the puzzle pieces. The dogs are not much interested.

I found out that Shirley was the one who sent us the fuzzy cardinal blanket. Thank you, Shirley. It was so good to talk to you the other evening. The blanket is the perfect weight to curl up under while I am writing. Adding to the cardinal motif, I heard a pair of cardinals singing yesterday. Cardinals have now become my voice. I can’t sing, but they certainly can!

All of this is to say that I love you and miss you. Our friends remember you fondly. Your legacy lives on in the hearts of those who love you. You are never alone. I am still trying to find an agent to represent your book. Mostly what I am getting is agents that say I have an interesting concept but they are not looking for memoirs at this time. Sigh. I will keep trying. I love you to the moon and back. Mom.