Dear Ravi,
As you know, I have been on the guiding team of Gathered for almost 2 years. Last night we had our first Gathered, neurodiverse friendly worship service of the year. It was amazing to see all of our hard work come to fruition. The service was held in the parish hall with gentle lighting, no fluorescent lights at all. People were invited to sit in comfy chairs or on mats on the floor. The centerpiece was an altar with pictures of saints named by the church, pictures of people in our lives whom we have loved and lost, and dozens of tiny tea candles. It was surrounded in flowers. The Rev. Craig invited everyone to make themselves comfortable, to honor their mind/body and wove a most enchanting story about 3 of his favorite saints. He is a magnificent storyteller, and his listeners were utterly silent in rapt attention. After the sermon/story, communion was offered and then everyone was invited to a spaghetti dinner.
Daddy and I got to the church about an hour early and began boiling pots of water for pasta and heating up red sauce. I chopped up tons of vegetables and put them out, along with cheese, crackers, applesauce packets, juice boxes and fruit. We had these out for people as they migrated from one craft station to another. People were invited to do crafts both before and after the sermon and dinner. Some people stayed for hours! I wish so deeply that this type of service was available to you and Mercury when you both were still with us. All neurotypes are welcome and needed. Many of the participants were adults, many of whom brought knitting. Knitting seems to be the perfect adult fidget. The timing worked out perfectly. Just as Craig concluded his sermon the pasta was ready and most of it was quickly devoured. A few parents were happy to tell us that their child had tried the pasta, a new food for them, and then come back for seconds. Since it was so popular we decided that this is the dinner we will serve for the December Gathered service as well.
I have attended many Episcopal churches in my 55 years on this planet, but this is the first one where I feel truly at home. As Joy often says “All our welcome, all are needed.” Craig calls this our neuroverse and that is so fitting. He talked about angels having echolalia and stimming for joy. He encouraged his participants to do the same. There were noise canceling headphones and fidgets galore. For those who had not brought a picture of their loved one, they were invited to choose a rock, say their loved one’s name out loud, and place it on the altar. I named you, Eric, your uncle Rob, and Abena’s sweet daddy, William. There is a power in naming things and calling forth to our ancestors. There is a power in prayer. I set your picture on the altar, surrounded by candles, flowers and saints. I like to think that you greatly enjoyed the evening. I wish there were a way that I could bring Mercury to one of our monthly services. Losing both you and Mercury is like going through a death and a divorce. I miss and grieve both of you. If there are any of my readers who would like to know more about Gathered, or how to do something similar in your own parish, please feel free to reach out to me. Everyone deserves a safe place for their body/mind.
Today is a beautiful sunny day. I got my 2nd knee injection and walked the dogs nearly 5 miles. I will do my PT exercises in a bit. All of this is an attempt to build bone density and hopefully joyfully carry my body along for decades to come. Ravi, I love you to the moon and back. Mom.
