On Hold, again

Dear Ravi,

The confusion with health care continues. As you know, my health insurance was cut off at the beginning of April, but no one can tell me why. I have appealed and written about my struggle to various politicians. Yesterday, I thought I was supposed to be on Minnesota Care, starting May 1. Today, I got another notice in the mail that said I qualified for Minnesota Assistance and eligibility began April 1. MA was what you had and kept up from going bankrupt during your last illness. I am not certain why I qualified for it, except that I have not garnered any income of note in the past year. Right now, I am on hold again with Ramsey County. I want to find out if I really am insured or not. I have no idea. It would be nice if I were insured from April 1 on as that would cover my days in the Partial Hospitalization Program from April 1 through April 8, when all of this nonsense started. I am so confused! So, I am writing to you which is always a dandy use of my time.

Today was a good day. Do you remember all the horrible but expensive clothes that Anabel has sent me over the years? Well, they have left the house! Most of them still had tags on them. None of the clothes fit me, my shape, or my coloring. I never wore them and have resided in the upstairs closet for over a decade. A therapist suggested to me that I would feel much better if I did not have these clothes in my house anymore. I realized that she was correct. These clothes do not represent me; they only represent what Anabel expects me to be. I have not talked to her since your funeral and her behavior that day and the days leading up to your death are unforgiveable. I have cut all contact with her and plan to never see her again. Anyway, today a friend and I gathered up all the unwanted clothes and took them to Turn Style, the consignment shop that you once liked. I don’t ever care if I get money for these clothes. They are gone from the house for good. If Anabel had ever really understood me, she would have gotten me clothes from LL Bean or REI.

Oh, wow, now I am off hold and actually got an agent on the phone. It turns out that I do have MA, and it started at the beginning of this month. Who knew? I am not going to drown in debt from my last few days of PHP. I am suddenly limp with relief. It is sad commentary on our government that it took 2 weeks for me to get all of this straightened out. Our medical system is such a mess. Our country is such a mess. Right now, I can’t tell you if the Strait of Hormuz is open or shut. I don’t know if gas prices will go down or continue to spiral upwards. There are a lot of uncertainties right now. Though I miss you deeply, I am glad you are not surrounded by this chaos.

The rain has stopped falling and the world is green and budding. I am about to go for a walk with a good friend and her dog. I have health insurance. I am no longer in a state of panic. Run free in heaven with your cousin Joyce and know that Daddy and I love you forever. Mom.